Anon.

"A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it. "

"A poet is someone who is astonished by everything. "

"A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages. "

"A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune. "

"All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. "

"Ama me fideliter Fidem meam noto De corde totaliter Et ex mente tota, Sum presentialiter Absens in remota. "

"An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing. "

"BASIC - A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company. "

"Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though. "

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. "

"Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get slaughtered. "

"CDOS CDOSRUN RUNDOSRUN "

"COFFEE.EXE missing. Insert cup and press any key. "

"Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted. "

"Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable. "

"Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it. "

"Crime, like disease, is not interesting it is something to be done away with by general consent, and that is all about it. "

"Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever. "

"Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice. "

"Don't steal. The government hates competition. "

"Earth is 98 full. Please delete anyone you can. "

"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead. "

"Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... "

"Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one (YN) "

"General Failure's Fault. Not Yours. "

"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers "

"Good, better, best never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best. "

"Great minds think alike. "

"Hanlon's RazorNever attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. "

"Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times. "

"He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead. "

"Hit any user to continue. "

"I speak BASIC to clients, 1-2-3 to management, and mumble to myself. "

"If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation... "

"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. "

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were. "

"If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about ... five minutes. "

"Intel has announced its next chip the Repentium. "

"Is my friend in the bunker or is the bastard on the green "

"LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. "

"Lat Love me faithfullySee how I am faithfulWith all my heartAnd all my soulI am with youThough I am far away. "

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. "

"Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up. "

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything. "

"Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. "

"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable. "

"Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye. "

"Necessity is the mother of invention. "

"Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME. "

"No one is listening until you make a mistake. "

"Old hackers never die. They just go to bitnet. "

"Old programmers never die. They just branch out to a new address. "

"Old programmers never die. They just can't C as well. "

"One thing you can't recycle is wasted time. "

"Ooops. My brain just hit a bad sector. "

"Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. "

"Optimization hinders evolution. "

"Original Poems for Infant Minds My MotherWho ran to help me when I fell,And would some pretty story tell,Or kiss the place to make it wellMy Mother. "

"Pascal keeps your hand tied. C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. "

"Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. "

"Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently. "

"Power (n) The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA. "

"Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE "

"Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. "

"Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night. "

"Real programmers don't write in PLI. PLI is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN. "

"Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. "

"Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg. "

"Scandisk is now checking your hard disk. You can start praying. "

"Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy Shell to DOS... "

"Silence is one great art of conversation. "

"Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. "

"Some authors should be paid by the quantity NOT written. "

"Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread. Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique. "

"Sped up my XT ran it on 220v Works greO "

"Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. "

"That Jim Brown. He says he isn't Superman. What he really means is that Superman isn't Jimmy Brown "

"The Internet is like a vault with a screen door on the back. I don't need jackhammers and atom bomb to get in when I can walk through the door. "

"The NeXT Computer The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe. "

"The best book on programming for the layman is Alice in Wonderland but that's because it's the best book on anything for layman. "

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. "

"The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money. "

"The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing. "

"The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going. "

"The world is so fast that there are days when the person who says it can't be done is interrupted by the person who is doing it. "

"The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out... "

"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. "

"There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works. "

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research. "

"To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. "

"Tourists are terrorists with cameras. Terrorists are tourists with guns. "

"WARNING Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue. "

"Want to make your computer go really fast Throw it out a window. "

"We are told never to cross a bridge until we come to it, but this world is owned by men who have 'crossed bridges' in their imagination far ahead of the crowd. "

"What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator. "

"When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy. "

"Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk "

"Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad. "

"Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename' "

"Winners never quit and quitters never win. "

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. "

"f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng. "