Bob Hope

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. "

"I don't generally feel anything until noon then it's time for my nap. "

"I love to go to Washington -- if only to be near my money. "

"If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. "

"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. "

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. "