Calvin Trillin

"Health food makes me sick. "

"Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place. "

"Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically. "

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. "