Evan Esar

"A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. "

"America believes in education the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. "

"Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them. "

"Statistician A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either. "

"Statistics The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. "

"Walking isn't a lost art -- one must, by some means, get to the garage. "

"You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. "