Joe Moore

"A politician is a person who thinks twice before he says nothing. "

"A simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some. "

"After a person makes his mark in the world, a lot of people will come around with erasers. "

"America Where a man can say what he thinks, if he isn't afraid of his wife, his boss, his customer, his neighbors, or the government. "

"Appetizers are the little things you keep eating until you lose your appetite. "

"As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically fit and parking as close to the stadium as possible. "

"Before borrowing money from a friend it's best to decide which you need most. "

"Childhood is that wonderful time when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath. "

"Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it. "

"Horse sense is what keeps horses from betting on people. "

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people He gives it to. "

"If you want to make certain a job gets done, give it to somebody who is really busy. They'll have their secretary do it. "

"It's hard to say who gets criticized the most, the successful person, or the failure but it's mighty close. "

"It's hard to tell if the world is actually growing worse, or if the news coverage is just better. "

"It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry. "

"Marriage is like a dollar bill. You cannot spend half of it when you tear it in two. The value of one half depends upon the other. "

"Marriage love, honor, and negotiate. "

"Money is a strange thing. It ranks with love as our greatest source of joy, and with death as our greatest source of anxiety. "

"Only grown-ups have difficulty with childproof bottles. "

"The mind is a wonderful thing. It starts working the minute you're born, and doesn't stop until you get up to speak in public. "

"The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know. "

"There are no answers, only cross-references. "

"There are still some honest people left in the world, but they never seem to find anything you lose. "

"You can always get the truth from a politician after he has turned seventy, or given up all hope of the Presidency. "

"You can't trust a promise someone makes while they're drunk, in love, hungry, or running for office. "