Julius Henry Marx

"Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you. "

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. "

"I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that. "

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. "

"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. "

"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. "

"My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. "

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. "

"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. "

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. "

"Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech. "